கார்மேகத்துளிகள்

ஏன் எல்லா heroines um Prostitute character தான் என்னோட dream role னு சொல்றாங்க ??

ஒரு வேலை,

Heroes 'character ஆவே வாழ ஆசைபடுற மாதிரி;

So on goes the reasons. The main reason behind all these distress, pain in my heart, thorn in my flesh etc etc was my bloody f***ing academic performance. A generation of parents who cannot withstand their child doing low in academics and trying to learn more from sources other than books. 

Throughout my 24 yrs of good-for-nothing life, the only happy moment I remember sharing with my dad was somewhere way back in my childhood probably I think in my kinder-garden. I told my dad when he was playing with me, his 2 day old beard is pricking me and the next day he had it shaved. Thats it, no more records of happy encounters. Note: this was the period I was coming in top 3 of the class

Then came the 'cat on the wall' phase. I wasn't performing that great to be in first 3 nor that bad to go out of top 10. The first real split came between my Dad and me was due to Algebra. I still remember getting scoldings from him for not able to memorize (a+b)^3 expansion, which I don't remember even now. This period was between 5-8th Std. I remember playing cricket with my Dad and few neighbours.

 And I remember going to Sabarimala 3 times with him. All these are just remembrance and not happy memories, not a single scene of joy comes across my mind in this period or from this period of time.

Then the downfall. The trojan Horse which entered into my city of heart is my score in Tamil in 9th STD summer special class. I got just 28/100. I didn't fare well due to my hate on the tamil teacher and I didn't want to study. Then I started telling all lies and started doing all kind of Jaaljaaps to cover my poor performance. I hid the marksheets, I added more marks in my marksheet, I edited my report card, I failed in 5/8 subjects. One fine day all my under-ground activities were uncovered and from then on how much ever I tried to be a good guy, I was never believed to be one. 9th Std is the worst year in my life. I still don't know why i did all those mal-practices. I some how manage to move on to 10th std.

This was the period I started staying away from my family more. I used to stay in school itself as long as possible saying some special class and then I would start as early as 4:30 PM from home for 5:30 Maths tution and will return as late as 8:30 from a tution which gets over by 6:30. Not that I roamed the city. I didn't want to be in home, so I stayed back in tution. Thanks Centum Selvaraj Sir, for allowing me to come early and go late and Sorry for you thinking that I stay back due to my love on maths. I did all I could to stay out of house or atleast I will escape to the terrace saying I am gonna study there. I started hate my family and in a way hatred grew in their heart too I think. 

All their concern was there were quite a few in the known circle of my dad, whose children are too writing 10th exams and I was pushed to score ahead of them. Which naturally I didn't like. I never tried too much to pass off with flying colors. The only console in my home that time was the wall close to my bed. Only that piece of brick and cement has seen my tears, agony and all. The only time I could see my daddy smile was during the last revision test result time just before public exams. I scored 888/1100 the highest score by me. Thanks to Xavier Sir for putting 20 extra marks for me in geography that test. 

10th results came. I fared 2nd in the race, next to tharani my neighbour. 934/1100. The next obvious thing my Dad did was to change my school from Holy Cross to some strict ditch school. I chose Kurinji ahead of SRV because all were going to SRV and I didnt want to fall in that same pit. Lemme fall in another pit Kurinji. That was the thought running thru my mind that time. 

Mattravai in next post.